Struggles of a big world.
I love how much opportunity is available to us. In terms of career, hobbies relationships. We have so many paths that we can follow. But with that freedom comes with the responsibility of choosing. What is “right” for me?
If I had infinite energy and time, I would literally do everything. I’d travel everyday, dance everyday, take classes on marketing and event planning and hand lettering, go kayaking every night, and see my family and friends as much as possible. I’d learn how to ride a motorcycle, and commit to a Broadway tour of Wicked as Elphaba, and see my boyfriend as much as I want. I’d read three books a day, and volunteer at City Impact and the Food Bank weekly. But alas, I am not Superwoman.
Ever since I was a kid, I was constantly involved. Most of the time to the point of overextending myself, exhausted, running on fumes, but happy that I was learning and contributing to my community or my family, or my personal well-being. But I’m learning the downside of being a jack-of-all-trades, and now, I’m trying to gear myself towards focus and utilizing my strengths.
However, I struggle with going towards a more simplified, narrow path. Is this right for me? Am I missing out on better opportunities? I compare myself to others, seeking understanding on what I feel like I should be doing to progress, but falling short. I am not them, they are not me. I’m realizing that I can be inspired by them, but I must aspire to do what’s right for me in this place and time in my life.
Now I’m learning to engage fully on a few things. What’s funny is that a few things for me is a lot to some, but not enough to others. As long as I’m a work in progress, I guess. I’m coming to realize that narrowing my priorities is not limiting me to the world. I feel like it’s illuminating a path that I would be missing if I was all over the place, travelling into a dimension that would otherwise be inaccessible with a lack of experience, intrigue, hard work, and intentional effort.
My world is not growing smaller, it is growing in ways I just cannot foreshadow. Just have to stay focused, be diligent, and do my best.